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Finding Your Calm – Emotional Noticing

Finding your Calm in Chaos – Emotional Noticing

Finding your calm. Right now. Here. In the world you live in now, may not be easy. It may not even be a realistic goal. But the worldwide events and how these are impacting you, may be an invitation to deepen into yourself. Take care of yourself. Maybe for the first time. Maybe a return to this. Finally.

I am a big proponent of emotional self care, emotional awareness, emotional noticing. The reason being, that we avoid how we feel and often judge harshly any feeling that does not fit into what we think we should be feeling. And there you have it. It stops there. Something happens or is happening .You feel something about it. And then you stop the feeling. That’s kind of soul crushing.

We have this collective anxiety going on. What you feel may be yours and may be what is going on around you. So…..

Be. Gentle.

Go easy on yourself.
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Most of us know what we need to do but we don’t do it. Even the idea of be gentle, go easy on yourself, which is being incredibly self compassionate, may not be our first go to. Our first go to may be to scold ourselves. Get over this. And get over it quickly. Others have it worse. It’s not a big deal. Don’t feel. That’s weak. Push through.

Be. Gentle.

Go easy on yourself.

Feel what you feel. Allow it. You may be more irritable, more tired, more hungry, more overwhelmed, more anxious, more sad, more of a lot of things.

Practice emotional noticing. Notice. Feel. Breathe into it. Pause. Just be.

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5 Reasons to Practice Active Listening

iStock_workplace-listeningRelationships are everything. You don’t live or work in isolation. Active listening, you know that kind of listening where you’re really ‘with’ another, where you are present, where you hear what they are saying at a deeper level, this is ‘active’ listening.

5 Reasons to Practice Active Listening

  1. Active listening connects you more deeply with others. Sometimes it may feel like a soul to soul connection.
  2. Active listening helps you understand what is beneath the surface of the words, the body language, and the nonverbals. It helps you understand what others are ‘really’ saying.
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  4. Active listening may lead to increased productivity. If you really listen, you are more likely to understand. If you understand the issue or problem, the solution can then be focused (on the real issue) and you and others can get onto action. Lots of people think active listening takes too long, is too cumbersome and has no real benefit in the workplace. To the contrary, when one really listens, the issue is clarified more quickly!
  5. Active listening reduces tension. When people feel heard, they feel understood and  tension decreases. They feel more level and you can then get onto problem solving if necessary. Where there is tension, there are feelings. Where there are feelings, the feelings are front and center and logic can go out the window. Active listening helps face and sometimes even resolve the feelings.
  6. Active listening reduces your stress as the listener. Active listening requires presence. It gets you out of your head as you are present with another. Presence reduces stress.

 

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Feeling Stuck? It’s normal!

Acceptance of the ‘stuckness’ closes the gap to resistance.

It’s hard to keep up. It’s hard to keep going with enthusiasm and passion. Others seem to be starting something new, doing something exciting, moving ahead, following their dreams. Blah blah blah (what the voice in my head is really saying because it’s so darn annoying seeing every one else moving along with apparent ease). Feeling stuck is all part of the ebb and flow of the journey. Once you realize how normal this is, how normal it is to feel stuck at times, to feel like doing nothing, to feel like giving up on your dreams, to not want to do anything to move yourself forward, you are on the path to becoming ‘unstuck.’  Acceptance of the ‘stuckness’ closes the gap to resistance. Feeling stuck and then hating yourself for feeling stuck keeps you stuck! It’s okay. It’s normal. It’s impossible to keep yourself at a high level of enthusiasm and growth. And perhaps, you’re not really stuck. Perhaps you are tired and need to rest, relax and rejuvenate and stop thinking of what’s next and what you ‘think’ you have to do. Even taking time out from dreaming, thinking about your passions or goals is important. The answer to keep moving forward is to accept the ‘stuckness’ and whatever the stuckness is about. The more you focus on the ‘stuckness’ the more it persists. These times don’t mean anything really other than you are normal.

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